


Recoup, Rebuild

by Shyrstyne



Series: Heart Hotel Stands AU [10]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Background Sorikai, Codependency, Ensemble Cast, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hollow Bastion | Radiant Garden Restoration Committee, Implied Sexual Content, Jealousy, Multi, Nonbinary Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Tags May Change, Trans Isa (Kingdom Hearts), background akusai, breif vanitas/leon, breif zack/ven, elrena does not have a girlfriend but she's trying, it's actually very high key now but It's Complicated, low key rokushi, low key vanven, making up a khux ending bc canon isn't finished yet, some ships still undecided, there is a weird romantic mess happening in the RG and i won't know how it ends until i write it tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:03:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28784646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyrstyne/pseuds/Shyrstyne
Summary: Everyone left behind has to figure out what to do now, to varying degrees of success over time.
Series: Heart Hotel Stands AU [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1478012
Comments: 40
Kudos: 40
Collections: Sea-Salt Family Fics (KH)





	1. Vanitas; Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> welcome! to the final and possibly longest part of the series. sorry for the wait despite me saying i had four chapters prepped and i'd update this as i write this time. i had some personal stuff to work out.
> 
> just a quick note before we start; like abandon ship i have low key vanven tagged, and i want to explain a little further on that, since it's a bit more than the vague underpinnings that abandon ship had. this is not a strictly romantic relationship..... but it's not brotherly or familial of any kind either. it's an extremely weird situation between them and i intend to explore what that means for them (and their quickly developing codependency) over the course of the fic. they are very close in a very unique way, and yeah some parts are probably going to read as at least somewhat romantic leaning. if that makes you uncomfortable, i implore you to back out now. no hard feelings, for you the series can have ended with sora's rescue. that's okay.
> 
> and as a quick reminder, in this fic because ven and vanitas were awake in sora's heart they _did_ age. That means that they are both adults, and being only recently released from their prison they are going to be exploring relationships and sexuality. i understand that some people are not comfortable with aged-up scenario's (though i will say there will not be anything explicit in this fic, at most it will be implication), and once more i encourage those people to back out now, no hard feelings.
> 
> so all that said, lets begin.

Vanitas stares out the window, arms crossed.

The distant beach is just barely visible past other houses and the new spring greenery. He’s not really looking at it though, lips tilted in a vacant frown.

The waves crash against the beach, and Vanitas’ fingers twitch against his arm fitfully.

His phone buzzes, but he ignores it. If Ven wants to hash out the details he can come in from the other room and talk to him. He continues staring out the window, unmoving as the door behind him creaks open.

“Hey.” The soft voice is not who he expects though, and he hunches in on himself just slightly as Kaze steps up next to him. He says nothing.

“Ven told us about your plan.” She continues. He makes a generic affirmation noise. “It sounds like a good idea, exploring the universe, learning yourselves. I hope you come to visit though, more than.. Well. I hope you visit.”

She falls silent, blinking rapidly. Vanitas grits his teeth.

“You should be happy to see the last of us.”

Of me, is what he means, but that’s too close to the truth. He can’t say it yet. Some part of him doesn’t want to hear the response when he’s right.

“Not at all.” Kaze says. “Maybe it wasn’t the normal way, but we took two teenage boys in all those years ago, how could I think of them as anything other than my own?”

Vanitas whirls to face her, denying the burn in his eyes with every bit of willpower he has.

“It’s my fault he’s gone!” He spits. “Don’t pretend you wouldn’t rather have him here than me.”

Kaze’s lips thin into a stubborn line, one he’s seen on her son too many times to not know exactly what it means.

“I’m not the sort of parent that chooses between my children.” She says, voice hard. “And you cannot bait me into it. I miss my son. It’s not your fault he’s gone.”

“It is.” Vanitas insists, hissing the words through a clenched jaw. “I tried- I made it worse. I said all the wrong things to make him throw himself into his own despair- how is that not my fault?”

He’s nearly snarling by the end of it, but somehow Kaze is neither distraught nor even really affected by his words judging by her still hard expression. She takes a step forward, and he takes an instinctive step back as she does. She stops, but only because she doesn’t want him to run.

“We’re all wrong sometimes.” She says. And though her expression doesn’t falter, the first tears fall. “I miss Sora, and I want him home safe, but I don’t blame you.”

Vanitas jerks back at the sound of that name. He bites hard on his tongue and tastes blood. He doesn’t get to say that name anymore. The burn in his eyes intensifies, and he turns away from Kaze in a painfully transparent attempt to hide it.

“You should.”

Kaze holds out her hands, waiting patiently for him to take them. He looks into her eyes, searching for what he isn’t sure.

“I won’t blame my children for an accident. We’ve known you too long, Vani, and I know you love him just as much as we do. You didn’t intend for this.”

The denials sit on his tongue, scathing and sharp, but he bites them back. They taste bitter as he swallows them, like bile in his throat. Of _course_ he didn’t intend for this. That doesn’t change the fact that it happened. That he was still here and Sora isn’t.

For a gut wrenching half second, he wishes he could still make Unversed, just to be free of the guilt clawing at his insides. It passes, and he feels sick for having even thought it.

Slowly, he rests one hand in hers.

“We’re not kids anymore.” He mutters. She smirks, just a little.

“Parent’s prerogative, you’ll always be our kids. Even after you’ve all left and made your own places in the world.”

“Even Roxas and Xion?” He raises an eyebrow. They’d only met maybe half a dozen times tops, half of which had taken place after-

Well. After.

“Maybe they haven’t had the same kind of time with us as you and Ven had, but they’ll always have a place here too. Whenever they want it.” Kaze says, earnest. He wonders how she makes it sound so simple.

It’s a place all of them know they won’t take, too busy searching for Lea and Isa. Not permanently anyway. Ven has a running bet with him that they’ll end up settling in Radiant Garden with Lea once things settle down. Vanitas thinks he’s an idiot. It’s clearly going to be Twilight Town.

“Is there anything you need, before you go?” Kaze asks. “Anything at all.”

Vanitas thinks about it. All he’s done is take and take and take. He looks out the window again, and sees Sora’s face staring back.

“... Maybe one thing.”

-

He feels a little lopsided, untamable spikes of hair on one side and clean shaven on the other. It had been an impulse decision, but now he wonders if it had been a little rash, this sudden change. He’d just wanted people to stop flinching when they looked at him, except now it feels like he’s tossed something important away. His hands shake as he inspects himself in the mirror.

Kaze stands behind him, and as if sensing his thoughts runs her free hand across the top of his head, the other still holding the razor.

“He’d be proud.” She whispers. “You’ve always had a hard time finding your own way. This is good, I promise.”

He doesn’t answer her, unable to find the words. He stands and brushes away the loose hairs as Kaze puts away her tools. She assures him she’ll clean the rest later, and they head downstairs.

Lia is in the dining room, and Vanitas blinks as he sees Donald and Goofy. They hadn’t been here earlier.

All three look like they’ve been crying.

“Oh,” Lia wipes at her eyes as she sees them enter, voice hoarse. “New haircut? It looks good.”

“... Thanks.” Vanitas murmurs, still not used to the praise. Somehow it was easier when he could just vanish when he was uncomfortable, but that’s no longer an option…. Though jumping out the window remains at the back of his mind as a tempting alternative.

“When did you get here, Donald, Goofy?” Kaze asks. “I didn’t know you were coming, or I would have cleaned.”

“We just wanted to check in.” Donald shakes his head. “See how you were holding up.”

“As well as can be expected, I think.” Kaze smiles, but it’s sad. All their smiles have been sad lately. Goofy nods.

“Us too.”

Donald opens his beak, but Lia seems to know what he’s going to say and stalls him before he can find his voice.

“No more apologies. I’ve heard enough apologies.”

“We were supposed to take care of him.” Goofy sniffs. “He got so grown up so fast we forgot how much of a kid he still was.”

“Is.” Donald corrects him forcefully. “ _Is_ still a kid.”

“Right.” Goofy sighs. “Is.”

Goofy looks up at Vanitas, and though he knows that promise had been made to him in particular, he cannot say he feels much in the way of vengefulness over it. Not when he’d played his own part in the last moments of Sora’s fall. Maybe he could have taken that as his own growth, in forgiveness, but mostly he just feels tired. His anger boils like a pot left forgotten on simmer, but there’s nowhere to direct that anger, so it continues to sit, unattended and hot.

“When are you leaving?” Lia asks Vanitas, and he blinks, drawn out of whatever distant place his mind had drifted off to. He opens his mouth to answer, but a voice interrupts from the doorway behind him.

“Tomorrow.” Ven says. Vanitas turns to him, frowning at the dark bags under his eyes. “We can wait one more day, right?”

“Whatever.” Vanitas shrugs. Doesn’t really matter to him, he tries to tell himself, even as everything in him wants to run, now, get away from every reminder and memory this place holds.

“Stay for dinner?” Lia asks of Donald and Goofy. They both nod.

“We’d be happy to.” Goofy is delighted by the offer, following it quickly with an offer to help cook.

Vanitas turns and leaves the room, feeling Ven’s gaze on him the whole way out, but he doesn’t pay it any mind. He goes down the hall, ignoring every picture on the walls, every child's scribbled doodle and craft scattered about, and walks out the front door entirely.

He stops there, looking out over the swaying palm trees and feeling the salty ocean breeze across his skin.

He waits. He’s not sure what for.

Eventually someone comes up next to him. It’s Ven, and Vanitas refuses to look at him. Ven sighs, and takes a seat on the front step.

“I thought you weren’t running anymore.” Ven says, and Vanitas thinks he almost sounds hurt. He doesn’t know what to make of that.

“I’m not.” He lies.

Ven scoffs, but he doesn’t say anything right away. Vanitas clenches his fists, nails biting sharply into his palms, before forcing them to relax.

“I’m not.” he says again. “I just can’t be here right now.”

Ven nods, the movement listless.

“I guess that makes sense.”

Vanitas finally turns his head to look down at Ven properly, nearly sagged against the wooden slats of the porch railing. His eyes narrow.

“You don’t have to come.”

“I want to come.” Ven blinks, straightening up a little. “I guess I’m just not.. Feeling the urgency? I want to remember all this. I want to remember him.”

“We’ll remember him fine when he comes back.” Vanitas asserts. He isn’t sure if he even really believes it himself, but if anyone were to be stubborn enough to succeed, it would be Riku and Kairi. It’s only been a week. They’ll figure something out.

He wishes he hadn’t run, even as he keeps doing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapters are going to be a little shorter than in previous installments on average, mostly due to each chapter focusing on sort of a single character or incident rather than me writing up to a page count. hoooopefully that should mean relatively quick chapters though. hopefully.


	2. Isa; Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isa wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact, significant parts of isa's early arc in this fic i wrote out in almost one sitting (bookwormgal hit me with an idea near the end of abandon ship and my brain _ran_ with it). it was fairly long actually, almost 10k. when i wrote it i still didn't know what this fic was going to look like, so when the format finally took shape i ended up having to take a big ol' knife to that oneshot and chop it up to be interspersed with other stuff. thankfully most of it could be salvaged, though there was a neat little leitmotif of 'isa learned' i had going that was sadly lost in the shift.

Isa wakes with a groan.

Everything aches, and this he expected, having experienced much the same on his first short lived reawakening. Or at least, expected under the assumption that he would wake at all. He pries his eyes open, wincing at the light, turning his head in an effort to get his bearings.

He knows this room. It’s one of the old rooms in the Castle of Radiant Garden. It’s not his old one at least, or at least he doesn’t think it is, but nonetheless he is struck by a powerful need to leave. He doesn’t want to be here, memories and feelings crowd at him noisily.

Isa sits up, and immediately regrets it as his whole body protests, but he doesn’t let that stop him. He has only two thoughts running through his mind; get out of the castle, and find Lea. He doesn’t particularly care what order they happen in.

He’s just swinging his legs towards the floor when the door creaks open, and a voice makes a small noise of surprise. He looks up, and finds Xion halfway through the doorway, staring at him in apparent shock.

“You’re awake!” She gasps. “Wait- hang on-“ and then she turns and runs from his sight, leaving the door swinging behind her and Isa confused.

Still, it does not overpower his need to leave, and so despite the interruption he continues to struggle to his feet, feeling foolish and powerless as he has to grip the headboard for balance. He pushes upright, and though he sways dangerously he manages to stay that way. Next step, the door, still hanging ajar. Surely he can manage that right?

He can’t. He makes three stumbling steps before his knees give out from under him and he finds himself lying against the cool metal of the floor. The long practiced planner side of him notes they should really invest in some rugs for their guest rooms, but it’s a distant thought at best. He stares at the wall for a moment,trying to collect himself enough to try again when he hears the approach of hurried footsteps. He manages to get his arms beneath him, trying to get up quickly so he is not seen in such an ignoble position, but he isn’t fast enough to get further than his face off the floor before he hears a pair of familiar voices gasp as they enter the room.

“You shouldn’t be up yet!” Xion scolds as she kneels next to him. “Even said the process of recompleting is really hard on the body. You should take it easy.”

Isa doesn’t look up to see the other occupant that had entered with her, but he recognizes those shoes. Roxas is silent as he (probably) stares down at Isa, and makes no move otherwise. Xion tugs on Isa’s arm with impressive strength, helping him to his feet. She starts to move him back towards the bed and that’s when he tries to resist.

“No-“ he protests. “I can’t stay here. Where’s Lea?”

Even in his current distress he does not miss the way Roxas and Xion share a meaningful glance.

“We’re still looking for him.” Xion admits cautiously. “But we’ll find him soon! It’s probably just because we don’t know exactly where he lost his heart this time. We’ll find him.”

This makes perfect sense of course, but Isa feels a profound sense of dread anyway. No slow return of emotions with a tentatively growing heart was this. This was the full force of everything all at once. He doesn’t realize he has tears falling until he sees Xion searching through her pockets trying to find a tissue to wipe them away with.

“Even said that too.” Roxas says, the first thing he has since he’d entered the room. “That things would be kind of intense for a bit, until you stabilized or something? I dunno, he used a lot of big words.”

Why are they helping him? They barely knew him.

He needs to know, and asks just that. He feels awful, depending on children like this.

“The same reason you helped me I guess.” Xion answers. “Because you matter to Lea.”

… there’s a certain logic there, he must admit. Still, it was unexpectedly mature for ones so young. More mature than he himself had been at that age probably.

Functional age, anyway. He _certainly_ hadn’t been that mature as a toddler.

“You’ve been searching for him?” He asks, mind returning to their conspicuously missing piece. Xion and Roxas both nod.

“We’re checking all the most likely places whenever we get the chance.” Xion says.

“And a bunch of the less likely ones too.” Roxas adds.

“How long?” Since what? He’s not sure himself.

“We’ve been looking for you both for a while. About a week? You only turned up the other day, and Even said he took some time too, so I guess it can vary.” Xion says. Roxas snorts.

“Typical Lea, right? Sleeping in whenever he can.” He says, and Xion laughs.

Isa doesn’t even crack a smile, his mind awhirl. Too much, too worried.

He’s not sure if he can contemplate a world in which he is allowed to return but Lea is not.

He shakes his head to clear the thought. He’s getting ahead of himself. There’s still plenty of time yet. Lea could still return. He will. He _has_ to.

He’s exhausted all of a sudden, sagging against Xion though every inch of his being resists doing so. Xion notices the increased weight and tugs him toward the bed again, and though he wants nothing more than to lie down he absolutely cannot do it here.

“No. I can’t.. stay..” He says again. Is his voice slurring? It might be. How embarrassing.

“You can help find Lea once you’re better, promise.” Xion assures. Roxas makes a face, but in Isa’s exhausted delirium he cannot process what it means. He shakes his head.

“No, this castle- I can’t- I can’t be here..”

And that’s all he manages to get out before his body reaches its limit and everything goes dark.

-

When he wakes again, it’s to the curl of soft sunlight so golden it nearly has weight. He blinks tired eyes open, and though he still feels tired, it’s not the same level of bone deep exhaustion it was before. He sits up, stiffly but with much less pain, and looks around the room.

He doesn’t know this place. It’s seen only recent use, judging by the relative cleanliness contrasted by the lingering smell of dust in the air, and the sheets over him are so crisp as to have been freshly bought. The early sunset he can just barely see through the rooms sole window accounts for the golden glow that had awoken him, just able to be seen over the trunks of a thick forest and the rising hills of what might be mountains.

“Ah excellent you’re awake.” A familiar voice speaks, and Isa turns his head towards where Even is entering the room, a bag in hand. “I won’t have to keep making this infernal trip every few hours. Ienzo has stabilized but I’m not comfortable leaving him alone for long.”

“Where are we?” Isa asks. Ienzo had made it through? That was good. He’d known their plan was risky. They’re clearly no longer in Radiant Garden, but past that Isa feels quite lost.

“Twilight Town.” Even responds. “I would have much rather have kept you close while you recovered, but the children were quite insistent that you were distressed being in the Castle, and it was determined that the fewer complications to deal with in these still uncertain situations the better.”

That explains the slow golden sunset at least. Saïx had only rarely set foot on Twilight Town and thus Isa hadn’t recognized it. Why is here, he wonders. Obviously it was thanks to Roxas and Xion, but there's a disconnect between people and action his brain hasn't quite bridged yet.

Had he really been so upset the children had picked up on it? His memory of the interaction is a bit fuzzy, and thus his imagination only further embarrasses him as it runs with possibilities.

There is one thing he remembers with clarity though.

“Has Lea been found?”

“Not as yet.” Even says with his usual bluntness. “It has only been a day since your ill advised attempt at mobility. The children are searching now.”

Isa’s heart squeezes, but he tells himself to calm. Lea will be found. He _will._

“There is something else you should know,” Even continues. “As it has affected them greatly of recent.”

And that is how Isa learns what happened to Sora.

-

Isa is up and walking about in relatively short order this time, the aches and pains of his recompletion fading quickly now that he isn’t pushing himself. His first recompletion had certainly not been pleasant for what he had experienced of it, but this second one seems multitudes worse in both length and severity. He can only assume that it is a direct result of it being the second time, something that wasn’t even truly supposed to happen the _first_ time.

Still, he brushes it off as best he can and works at excising the stiffness from his limbs. Even returns to the Garden and Isa is left alone in what appears to be an empty mansion.

He wants to run out and start searching for Lea immediately, but he manages to restrain himself. Even had implied it was Roxas and Xion who had brought him here, and thus likely expected him to be here when they return. He hates this feeling of being a burden but he manages to push both that and his concern aside to wait patiently. He doesn’t wish to add to their worries.

He deals with his open time and listlessness by investigating the mansion. There is almost no chance it hasn’t been searched thoroughly already if Roxas and Xion were using it as a base, but it makes Isa feel at least somewhat useful while he waits, and gives him something to do that isn’t simply staring at a wall.

He’d done that plenty while he was in the Organization already, thanks.

It’s a very strange building, with a white room on the second floor he swears must be modeled off of Castle Oblivion and a semi-secret basement housing what appears to be some kind of unused laboratory. Mostly unused- there are notes and paraphernalia here and there, and judging by the state of both he wonders if Ienzo was here at some point.

He moves to investigate this thoroughly as well, though his skin crawls every moment he’s down there. If he never enters another lab it will be too soon.

He’s at the end of a bent hall lined with strange pods, staring into another large white room when he hears faint calls of growing intensity from behind him in the mansion proper. He reacts more slowly than he would have liked, his mind struggling to refocus from investigation mode to the remembrance that he was waiting for people to come back.

He turns back towards the entrance but doesn’t make it far before the door at the end slides open and Roxas comes to a skidding stop as he runs through and spots Isa.

“There you are.” Roxas pants. Isa can’t quite place his tone. Neither relieved nor angry. Perhaps both? “What are you- never mind. Let’s get out of here so I can tell Xion you’re fine.”

“I am.” Isa confirms. “You seem.. upset.”

Roxas’ shoulders hunch, and Isa thinks he might be right.

“Just don’t like it here.” He evades, and Isa doesn’t feel as though he’s earned the sort of familiarity needed to pry further, so he falls silent and allows Roxas to lead him back upstairs. Xion meets then in the foyer, heaving a heavy sigh of relief as she jogs up to them.

“You found him! Good, I was worried.”

“I’m sorry to have caused you concern.” Isa acknowledges with the tilt of his head. “I merely thought it prudent to investigate this place I had found myself in. I believe I have you to thank for that?”

Xion shuffles a little, embarrassed? No, pleased.

“You didn’t seem to want to be in the Castle in the Garden, and this was really the only empty place we knew, so we brought you here. Was that okay?”

“It was.” Isa sees no reason to deny it. He’s grateful to not have to wake there once more, though his initial reaction may have been born of less self control than he would like to admit. “Thank you. I presume you haven’t found Lea yet?”

Both the faces before him fall, and he can see he’s guessed correctly. Lea would be with them if they had, after all, conscious or not.

“We’ll keep trying.” Roxas says, determined. “We won’t give up.”

“Yes.” Isa more than agrees with that sentiment, though Roxas seems surprised by it for some reason. “If I may, I would like to join your search tomorrow.”

“Join us?” Now Xion is surprised. What is it he’s doing that keeps surprising them? “I mean, of course, if you want.”

“Why?” Roxas butts in, squinting up at Isa. Isa quirks his head, confused.

“Why wouldn’t I search for Lea?” Honestly he’s almost offended at the question, but he tries not to growl. Roxas shakes his head.

“No, why with us? You helped Xion yeah but it’s not like you’ve ever wanted anything to do with either of us other than that.”

Ah. Fair enough.

“Ah. In truth I was.. indescribably jealous of you at first. Even after myself and Axel started to work past that I never made the effort to reach out. That is my failure. I would like to attempt bridging that gap now, as those who are important to Lea are and should be important to me as well.” He coughs, feeling a little self conscious of his miniature speech. “And what better way to begin than by searching for that which we both love?”

Xion smiles widely at all this, and he thinks she might be pleased. Roxas seems a little less dour at least, or at least he hopes so. It’s a start.

-

Time passes, and Roxas is hesitant to go meet the friends he’d made in the data Town, which seems strange to Isa as he’d never known the boy to be prone to much hesitation. Yet that is the case as the three journey toward the clocktower, one of their many oft checked places hoping for Lea to appear, and Roxas hides himself around a corner after spotting a group of three teenagers walking down the pavilion.

“Roxas…” Xion’s voice is sad. Roxas shakes his head.

“I know I know, it’s just… first their data selves, then I was a ghost who couldn’t even really talk to most of them… what if they don’t like the _real_ me?”

“If these other iterations did, I see no reason they would not.” Isa doesn’t understand his reluctance. “If anything I should consider that proof they are in fact even more likely to be endeared to you now.”

Roxas looks up at him, and Isa easily recognizes his surprise. He’s getting better at reading them these days, and is internally pleased with this.

“Have you not gone to see them since…” Xion asks. Roxas shakes his head.

“There wasn’t really time, with Lea still missing.”

Isa understands that, knows how every moment spent not searching feels wasted. But…

“You should go to them.” Xion speaks his thoughts. Still Roxas hesitates though.

“I understand.” Isa says. He does, he really does. “But it has been well over a month, and we cannot put off our lives forever. Xion and I will search today.”

“I don’t want to give up!” Roxas protests, and Isa raises a hand to stall him.

“You aren’t. Merely a rest, to catch up on other parts of your life. Being human means… learning balance.” He was being a little hypocritical, having never been particularly adept at it himself, but knew he had to at least attempt to impart the concept to the children, for their own health if nothing else. When Roxas continues to look doubtful he adds, “Lea will understand. We physically cannot spend every moment searching indefinitely.”

“Go on Roxas.” Xion seems to agree at least. “We’ll search together tomorrow.”

“.... call me if you find him?” He asks.

“Of course.” They both answer. As if they would do anything else.

Finally he nods, hugs Xion quickly, and then runs off towards where the teenagers linger by some storefront. Isa and Xion watch them from a distance as Roxas introduces himself, and then visibly relaxes as they crowd around him excitedly. They start to lead him away, and he pauses only just long enough to wave at Xion and Isa before he rounds a corner and vanishes from sight.

Xion waves back, a smile on her face before turning back to Isa.

“Well?” She asks, and he nods.

The clocktower is empty, as usual. Isa sighs. The dispelling of renewed hope weighs heavier with each passing day, each passing failure. They move on to the next spot, and the next, and the next.

They stare into the empty space where The Castle That Never Was once resided, feeling just as empty. How capricious hearts are that way, he’s remembering.

“What if he’s just not coming back?” Xion asks, staring out into the abyss.

“He will.” Maybe if he keeps saying it it will be true.

Xion breathes a laugh, but he doesn’t think it sounds particularly happy.

“I wanted to wait.” She says. “I wanted to ask him… but I don’t know if I can wait anymore.”

“Ask him what?” He asks, curious. Xion sighs.

“I met someone, in the final world, who didn’t use ‘she’ or ‘he’. Sora didn’t seem to think anything of it, but there wasn’t time to ask then. I wanted to ask Lea what he thought about it. Maybe that’s silly.”

“I don’t think it is.” He answers honestly. Axel had become their guardian of a sort in the organization, someone they trusted to go to for help and answers. Of course Xion would want to go to him for this as well. He hesitates. “I may not be Lea, but I am here if you wish to speak.”

Xion looks up at him, and though this expression he cannot decipher, somehow he sees himself reflected back. He is brought to mind of his own childhood, spent in a role and body that had never been his own. He wonders how much of his early distaste for the ‘puppet’ and Axel’s easy seeming friendship with ‘it’ had been worsened by that lingering self hatred. He wonders if he should tell Xion these things.

.... No, best not. Not unless it's relevant.

“Only if you wish, of course, and if you do I assure you it will not lessen whatever you wish to ask Lea later when he returns.” He adds, continuing to feign ignorance to the obvious context in case Xion decides they do want to wait for Lea.

“I.. I think I do. Want to talk about it, I mean.” Xion is hesitant. “I don’t know if- I mean-...”

Xion makes a frustrated noise. Isa knows the feeling.

“Take your time.” He leads them both to the steps of some empty yet still lit diner, and they take a seat.

“I just.. I thought I had it figured out, after I talked with Vanitas. I could just be me, and the things I remembered from other people- boy, girl, whatever, didn’t really matter. And that’s still true but- augh I’m not making any sense.”

“I have the general gist.” Isa says calmly. “Continue.”

“Okay. So.. When we met Chirithy in the Final World, Sora.. did this thing- he wasn’t sure if they were a he or a she and when he used they instead.. I realised I was still missing something. I realised I wanted that too.”

“I see.” Isa keeps his tone neutral, trying to find the right words, but he regrets it quickly as Xion takes it the wrong way, shoulders hunching as if from recrimination.

“I guess it’s dumb, huh? I’m a person, not a spirit cat thing.”

“It’s not dumb.” Isa corrects quickly, chastising himself. Honestly, he should know better. Maybe Isa knew more about these things, but Lea had always been the one good at making people feel comfortable when he wanted to. “I was trying to order my thoughts. My apologies.”

“Oh.”

“Perhaps this is our fault.” Isa sighs. “It is regrettably easy to forget the things you do and do not know. There is far more out there than simply ‘she’ or ‘he’ for you to use. If ‘they’ feels right to you, then you are more than free to claim it for yourself.”

“Oh.” Xion brightens. “I think.. I think I might then.”

Isa nods, letting himself smile a little. Maybe they weren’t quite close yet, but this feels like a good step, and he has to admit it’s a nice feeling, seeing Xion find themself like this.

So caught in his thoughts, he misses the way Xion struggles with a moment of indecision before leaning over to press against him, shoulder to shoulder. He’s surprised, but manages to keep himself from flinching away at the contact.

“Xion?”

“Thank you.” They say, eyes slipping closed as they savour the not-quite hug. “How do you know all this stuff anyway? Roxas didn’t have any idea what I was talking about, and the memories I’d stolen were too muddled to be any help.”

“I.. Have some experience in the matter.” Isa answers. He’s thankful they don’t push for more. That’s all he’s willing to give right now. Maybe later. His early years had been hard.

Harder than a decade of political intrigue and trials and a failing friendship? Maybe. In a different way perhaps.

“I can tell you more later, if you like. I will, in fact. There are some worlds that.. Won’t take kindly to you, unfortunately, and you should know why. But I know how important and fulfilling that sense of self is, and I believe you are owed that at the very least. We are here to help you navigate it if you wish.”

“We?” They ask, turning their head up to him.

“I’m sure Roxas will be happy to help however he can, once he understands how, and I can vouch for Lea’s support once he returns.”

Xion grins, bright and happy. They wrap their arounds around his chest in a proper hug this time.

“Thanks, Isa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> despite how it looks, i've actually been playing with the idea of trans isa since... late approaching storms i think. much like nonbinary xion (and others) there just wasn't really many good places to bring it up organically. so here it finally is.


	3. Terra; Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terra and Aqua deal with being alone in that massive old castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOPS late chapter is late, my day job happened lol

They’ve been home for a little under a month now.

Terra had known coming back to the Land of Departure would be difficult. Their once and again home had loomed before them almost intimidating in how little it had changed, but return to it they had, taking up their new mantles as its guardians in Master Eraqus’ stead.

But it’s hard.

It feels empty, with only half its original occupancy- and even then the Castle had been intended for entire classes of live-in Masters and students. To have only two people left to wander its halls leaves echoes of grander times that sit badly with them.

They ignore it though, tending to the care of it’s massive halls and extensive ranges. Terra finds himself inside most, dusting the many forgotten corners, remembering all the places he had hidden in from the Masters more boring lessons. He avoids the courtyard when he can, taking the back ways to get to the training yards instead. He doesn’t want to look at the spot he’d struck his own Master down for good.

Aqua takes care of the outside. She’d confessed to him once that she found it a reassurance, to see the green of the courtyards and know she is no longer trapped in the dark. When she is inside he often finds her in the main hall, sitting in front of the tall chairs that in ages past Masters had greeted guests from.

No one had sat in them since Ven had stood from the centermost one, and through unspoken agreement neither of them care to.

Terra wishes he could look to them for guidance the way Aqua seems to try, but he can’t. He only ever remembers Eraqus’ many lessons on controlling… repressing the dark, and it’s become quite obvious to Terra that the way forward doesn’t lie there. Would his Master be disappointed in him for it? Maybe. He can’t ask anymore, so Terra can only guess.

That didn’t make it easy though, for all his time with Riku had allowed him a measure of growth and peace, his own darkness still scares him sometimes. He wrestles with it daily, jumping at shadows and doing double takes at his own reflection if he glances at it too quickly.

Still, at least he can look at it. The few occasions he’s had to go into Aqua’s room has found every mirror there entirely removed. He can’t blame her. Sometimes her eyes still flash gold and it makes his heart stutter with anxiety.

Not of her. Never _of_ her. He just doesn’t want to lose her again, and the way he hears her check on him like clockwork every night and early morning, he thinks it’s the same for her. He knows she’s terrified of herself without her having to say it, and he wishes he could help, but there’s only so much that those whispered conversations at two am can do to help.

It’s selfish of him maybe, but he wishes Ven had come home with them. Maybe the castle wouldn’t feel quite so lonely. But that’s not fair. It’s not Ven’s fault they’re all so broken, and Terra would sooner cut off his own arm than let on that’s how he felt. Ven deserves to find himself too, and he did promise to visit at least. Maybe someday he’ll return home for good, but for now they make do with the promise of temporary returns.

So life goes on, all at once too quietly and too quickly, tense and awkward and nostalgic all wrapped up together in a mess of complicated emotions.

Some days are better than others, just like some are worse, and he thinks this as he drags himself from bed that morning. Today isn’t very good, he can already tell, his sleep had been more disturbed than usual, making his already burdened mind sluggish and paranoid. He twitches as he draws back his curtains, making the shadows dance along the walls.

“One step at a time.” He tells himself. It’s harder than floating, but at least he’s not dependent on someone else to get there anymore. He heads for the kitchen to make breakfast.

Aqua doesn’t look up from where she’s seated at the island in the center of the kitchen, staring down into a cup of tea that has most certainly long since gone cold.

“Good morning.” He keeps his voice soft, not getting too close until he knows she’s aware he’s there. She startles, and magic gathers in the air before dispersing just as quickly as she realises it’s just him. He carefully doesn’t react, though he might have left a new dent in the doorknob.

“Good morning.” She answers, voice hoarse. “Sorry.”

She says it so softly, ashamed of her instinctive reaction. Shadows dance in the back of his mind, and he wishes he could take hers too.

“Have you been here all night?” He asks. She doesn’t answer. It’s better than it was before, when she would have simply lied and said no. Maybe not a lot better, but a little. It’s progress.

He waits a bit until he’s sure she’s not going to speak, and then he moves towards the cupboards. He loves to cook but breakfast was usually a simple matter to him, some bread, a cup of juice, and that was usually all. Fancy breakfasts had only become a thing with the advent of Ventus, and even then that had been more Aqua’s realm, hoping each morning it might help the sleeping boy awaken.

They could both use a pick-me-up though, he decides. Something sweet? Yes, that sounds good. He shuffles about the kitchen, pulling out bread and powdered sugar amongst other necessities. Eventually Aqua pads up next to him, her mug steaming as she carefully reheats it with magic, filling the air with it’s aroma.

“Pain perdu?” She asks as she takes in the ingredients. He nods.

“Yeah. Figured, why not?” He shrugs with a smile, and is pleased when she smiles back.

“Can I help?”

“Of course.”

The shadows recede, or maybe they don’t. It’s like they transform, becoming something safe and hidden rather than fearful and tense, and it’s these moments that bring Terra peace. All too soon the food is ready and Aqua digs out plates and utensils. Terra spreads chopped strawberries and powdered sugar liberally over the finished product, serving both onto plates with unnecessary flourish. It makes Aqua try to hide a laugh, and the dark becomes just a bit less fearful.

They sit down to eat, and the silence that falls is comfortable this time, rather than smothering.

“I’m hoping to fix that broken ring in the training yard today.” Terra says. He doesn’t want to bring the mood down, but he hopes maybe today they can finally do it. “I could use some help.”

“The one the Master broke demonstrating for us?” Aqua’s hand drops, fork clinking softly against her plate. Terra nods.

“I know you don’t want to get rid of the reminders, but it really does need to get fixed. We’ve put it off long enough.”

Aqua frowns, but doesn’t argue. He wonders if maybe he’s pushing too hard. Still, she says nothing, and they finish breakfast in silence.

They put their dishes aside to be washed later and walk out to the training yards. They take the back way, and Terra tactfully ignores how tense Aqua is the closer they get to their destination.

They walk past the still working rings, heading for the back corner, where one of the spinning fixtures stands quietly, one of it’s massive golden targets resting against its base.

It looks so innocuous, to cause them both so many conflicted feelings.

Terra remembers clearly that day. It had been only weeks before their fateful Mastery exam, and the Master had taken them out to show the finer points of a particular move set; ostensibly for Ven, who had never seen it, but Terra and Aqua had sat in for support and just to enjoy the time together.

The Master’s demonstrations had always been a treat, in contrast to his often somewhat boring lectures, Master Eraqus became animated and lively when it came to demonstrating new forms and attacks, giving the lessons an energy that drew them in and made them eager. It was always Terra’s favourite parts of training, the excitement of learning something new colliding wonderfully with the Master’s enthusiasm to teach. He knows Aqua and Ven had felt similarly, Ven especially. Aqua didn’t mind the more bookish portions of their training, but even she would readily admit that the practical demonstrations were by far the best part of any week.

But… All that is gone now, Terra realises all over again as he kneels above the dented ring. The Master is gone, and he’s not coming back. All that’s left now is a broken training toy and some old memories. Even Ven is gone, exploring the universe like he’s never had the chance to before, stuck in Departure, stuck searching for his friends, stuck in Sora’s heart. It’s just him, Aqua, and too many lost feelings in this too-large castle.

He rests his hands on the metal, cool beneath his touch, and now it’s him that finds himself stuck.

Something touches his shoulder and he jumps at it but calms as he finds Aqua standing there. Her eyes are blue and shining, but her face solemn as she looks down at him. He clenches his eyes shut, letting out an angry breath.

“I thought-” He starts, voice choking, “I thought we could do it today.”

“I know.” Aqua answers. He reaches for her hand, and she takes it readily, pulling him up to stand with her. “Maybe tomorrow.”

Maybe tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a little short one for these two. they've got a lot to deal with emotionally, but mostly what they need is time.


	4. Lauriam; Searching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First stop, Dwarf Woodlands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some fun facts about this chapter; when i finished Abandon Ship i actually didn't know yet how this arc was going to go or even what Elrena had found, i was just throwing shit at the wall and hoping it came together for me later. thankfully it did. second fun fact is that the new addition in this chapter was entirely unplanned and i didn't really know where i was going with it until about... last week. which means i'll probably end up having to come back to this chapter later to smooth out some of the hiccups as a result but eh. writers life.
> 
> *day of addition: woke up this morning to find out khux is shutting down in a few months and ngl? it's hit me hard. i was there the first day it opened on global and aside from the periods where i straight up had no internet bc i was camping, i was there every. single. day. (yes my daily login bonus is in the thousands). im just. weh. ;-;
> 
> so i guess this chapter is ...fortuitously? timed.

Lauriam stares down at the book in his hands. It’s worn and old and the pages are yellowed and brittle with age, but in much better shape than any normal book would be under the circumstances.

“So.” Elrena flips a knife casually as she leans against the doorway nearby. “What now?”

Light filters in from the dusty and broken windows, glancing across the worn cover and now almost invisible markings that Lauriam traces with an idle finger.

“We shouldn’t leave them there, but..”

“Priorities.” Elrena agrees. “We could leave it with the geek squad, I hear they’re back to the whole science thing in.. What was it, Glorious Garden?”

“Radiant Garden.” Lauriam corrects. “Perhaps.”

“Yeah I’m not fond of the idea either.” Elrena shrugs. “But do you have a better one?”

“We keep it with us, where we can keep an eye on it.” Lauriam tucks the book into his vest as he speaks. “Finding Strelitzia must come first, and there may yet be a clue here. You checked thoroughly?”

“Of course.” Elrena takes offense at the implied slight. “The data only shows one person still in the simulation, plus Chirithy’s. It’s not her. I checked the records, once I figured out how to access them, and she’s not on the list of people who were inducted either.”

“I wonder..” He hums, then shakes his head. “A suspicion I’ll have to follow up on later. For now, we continue chasing ghosts.”

“... You know this means she’s dead right?” Elrena asks bluntly, probably the only person who could ask that question and not incur his wrath, and he moves simply to stand before the broken window overlooking the ruins of Scala ad Caelum. “If she never made it into the simulation, even if she lived through the war… It was thousands of years ago.”

“I know.” He answers, eyes tracing the distant mountains of other island cities. “I didn’t want to admit it but.. I know. It only changes the places I need to look. If nothing else… I want to know what happened to her. Why she wasn’t there with us.”

“Stubborn bastard.” Elrena says, but she’s grinning. “You have some ideas then?”

“A couple.” He agrees, finally turning to face her, with the hint of a smile. “Some places we scouted during our days in the Organization and even before that might have promise, and failing that I refuse to believe all hope is lost.”

“Most people would call that delusional.” Elrena points out, and it prompts Lauriam to laugh.

“Most people are not us.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

-

As usual, it’s easier said than done.

Both were ready for this however, and weren’t about to give up at the first hint of trouble. The first world seems promising at first, tales of a princess who had been brought back to life by true love’s kiss piquing their interest. Any lead was a lead in this case, and any return to life could only be just short of miraculous.

Their portal drops them out into what appear to be dark woods, and it’s several hours of fumbling through dark underbrush until they find a quaint and frankly miniature cottage nestled in a sunlit glade amidst the trees.

Elrena has to bend in order to peer in the windows, which appear dark. She squints, and then shrugs.

“Nobody home, but clearly lived in.” She turns to Lauriam. “Wait, or keep going?”

“This lead was years old even when I passed through here before. It fell to darkness not long after as I recall. Perhaps we should move on.”

“Tch.” Elrena sighs and stands straight, stretching. “All that running around the woods for nothing..”

“That is the other thing.” Lauriam admits. “We are a touch lost, aren’t we?”

“Wasn’t me who said it.” Elrena smirks impishly. “C’mon, let’s portal out and try some-”

She doesn’t get to finish, jumping back to dodge the clump of roof grass and mudding that thumps hard where she had been standing previously.

Lauriam looks up to the roof of the small cottage, and sees a small creature tearing up another part of the roofing to lob ineffectually at them. He steps back, and the clump lands at his feet.

“What the hell is that?” Elrena sidesteps the clumps, circling around the apparent range of the creatures throw to come up to Lauriam. He continues to squint up at the dark blue creature, which appears to be composed entirely of pointed edges and narrow red eyes. It chitters almost as if it's laughing at them.

“Mischievous, whatever it is.” He comments. He steps back further, and the animal seems to settle, hunkering on the roof and watching them warily. “A family pet perhaps? It seems protective of this place.”

Elrena sighs sharply.

“Well it doesn’t matter. You can calm down now!” She calls up to it. “We were leaving anyway!”

The creature raises its head, alert, and Lauriam wonders how intelligent it is.

“Angry little thing.” Elrena huffs, though Lauriam doesn't really agree. It seems more chaotic than malicious. “Reminds me of that half of a friend of yours.”

“Vanitas?” He quirks his brow at her, and misses how the creature perks up at the name. Elrena shrugs. “Perhaps a little.”

He wouldn’t say he knew the other Ventus all that well in honesty, despite their shared history, but the other man had seemed somewhat… prickly in their brief true acquaintance. Some part of him wants to reconnect with them, with both parts of Ven, but not yet. Everything is still too scattered, and as always Strelitzia comes first.

To say nothing of what might have happened to Ephemera, Brain, or Skuld.

They both remember the pods now, emerging from them back into the real world, only hazily. A man shrouded in a black coat and a greasy grin. He’d still been hurt, unable to resist as the stranger had… taken something from him. He’s not entirely sure what, only half conscious as he’d been. He remembers shouting- Skuld? And then it had been just him and Elrena in the empty room.

They’d run, feeling hunted, remembering Ava’s warnings, the way the Darkness had torn at the simulation before they’d left. Did it already have what it wanted, or would it continue to follow them? Considering the simulation was still running, it appeared the Darkness had left with them, or at least gone dormant.

And then eventually, years later really, Xigbar had found them, and their memories had scattered to the wind along with their hearts and keyblades. They were lucky then, if the Darkness or that man still had any need of them, that they hadn't been found while so vulnerable. The Darkness hadn’t come for them again in those ten years, both before and after their nobody-hood, and though Lauriam doesn’t discount the possibility that it just hasn’t found them yet, he finds himself tentatively hopeful it has whatever it needed and will no longer haunt them.

The man in black is still a mystery, dressed in the same coat as the Organization, but it is one they don’t have any way to learn more of at the moment, so it sits quietly in the background. Maybe when they find the others they will be able to figure it out.

“Now what the heck are ya doin’ there? Yer scarin’ poor Twitchy!” An angry voice interrupts Lauriam’s musings, and the two turn to face a slew of new faces peering up at them from down the worn path. One with a particularly pronounced scowl brandishes a worn pickaxe at them.

“Yeah!” Says one of the little bearded men in front, tiny glasses perched precariously on his nose. “Y-y-you leave her abone- alone!”

“We weren’t bothering her, she just started throwing shit at us.” Elrena scowls. Lauriam raises a hand in peace.

“We meant no harm, we were merely lost.”

“Well why didn’t ya say so!” Another jollies, stumping forward to extend his hand. “Name’s Happy. You’ve met our little Twitchy, behind me here is Grumpy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, Dopey, and Doc.”

“A pleasure.”

“Can we move this inside?” Sleepy yawns. “I’m tired.”

“Well we can’t sleep yet, we gotta get the place all nice for when Snow White visits.” Bashful fiddles with his beard, avoiding looking at the tall intruders.

“That’s tight- I mean right!” Doc nods. “Can’t have everything be a mess for guests, especially one as important as the Queen. To work now!”

The dwarves scatter, almost as if they had completely forgotten the two strangers still standing in their lawn. Lauriam stares after them, bewildered.

Elrena cocks an eyebrow at him.

“Queen huh? Think we’re lucky enough to have our lead come to us?”

Lauriam blinks, shaking himself.

“I hesitate to hope, but it seems possible.”

“Got nowhere else to be.” Elrena shrugs, and then grabs one of the dwarves holding a ladder and spotting Doc as he coaxes Twitchy down from the roof.

“Oh gosh!” Happy looks up at her. “I got caught up in all the excitement. You said you were lost, right?”

“Right.” Elrena rolls with the lie, forcing her voice into something that might pass as casually friendly. “But you seem busy, mind if we hang around for a bit? Maybe we could meet your other friend.”

“Well that would be swell! You could stay for dinner!” Happy agrees, and then has to abruptly correct as the ladder shifts due to his lapse in attention. He manages to save it though, and both Doc and Twitchy continue to descend. “Why, I’m just certain that Snow will love ya!”

One of the dwarves, Grumpy, snorts derisively as he walks by carrying an assortment of tools and detritus, but says nothing.

Lauriam can almost hear the grinding of Elrena’s teeth as she maintains her outwardly pleasant smile, but the dwarf doesn’t seem to notice, helping his fellow dwarf down the ladder and then scooping it up to be put away. The other dwarves bustle to and fro, generally tidying and making neat in preparation for guests. Twitchy slinks off after squirming out of Doc’s arms, turning into a dark puddle and sliding under the front door of the house, escaping inside.

“Why- Why don’t ya head on inside?” Happy offers. “I’m sure the boys have everything covered, but it can’t hurt to have a fresh set of eyes right?” He laughs to himself jovially, and then moves off. Lauriam looks to Elrena, who shrugs, and they move towards the doorway.

They both have to stoop to enter, and even once inside find themselves in danger of knocking foreheads into the beams across the ceiling, but they suppose it could be worse. They dance around the busy dwarves, and at one point one hands a sheet to Elrena and instructs her to put it on the long table in the middle of the room.

She makes a face and then hands it to Lauriam, who shakes his head ruefully but drapes it elegantly across the sturdy but obviously ancient table, making it look slightly more presentable to the incautious eye.

“He- he- heeee-.......... Here she comes!” A voice rings out, which is shortly followed by an explosive sneeze. The dwarves all seem to freeze for a solid second, and then burst into movement once more, nearly bowling each other over to greet their newest guest as she emerges from the woods.

Lauriam and Elrena stay where they are, watching through the tiny porthole window as the group swarms the young woman- and she is young, only barely into adulthood if Lauriam had to guess. She laughs as the dwarves clearly pester her with questions, and then lifts the basket she’s carrying away from the curious Dopey. She lifts a finger to her lips, clearly indicating that whatever is inside is a secret. Sleepy points towards the house, and Doc nods, talking as the group starts to move towards the door.

Snow White enters first, and smiles as she lights eyes upon the two waiting inside.

“Oh hello, you must be the surprise visitors they were telling me about.” She says sweetly. Lauriam steps forward to offer a small bow.

“Majesty. I am Lauriam, this is my companion Elrena.”

“What unusual names.” Says the lady with seven dwarven compatriots named after their defining character trait. “My name is Snow White.”

“But you can’t call her that, cause she’s the lean- I mean Queen.” Doc supplies.

“But we get to call her that.” Dopey blushes. “Because we’re her friends.”

“That’s right.” Snow White laughs like chimes tinkling in a breeze. “Now, I know you’re all tired and I am too, shall we sit?”

The dwarves nod in sync and they all bustle about to find the optimal seating arrangement. Doc and Dopey bring out a large steaming pot filled to the brim with some delicious aroma spilling off it and set it in the center of the large table. Sleepy puts out plates and utensils, and Snow White sets her basket next to the pot. She continues to dissuade anyone from looking though.

“After dinner.” Is all she says when asked, and the others don’t bother to push, instead portioning out the meal with gusto.

Twitchy makes an appearance not long after, and though Elrena eyes it suspiciously it does nothing more than tug on the hem of Snow White’s skirt, which she answers by slipping it a mouthful of soup from her spoon.

“The soup is delicious, by the way.” Snow White takes another bite herself. “You’ve been practicing?”

“We have!” Happy grins. “It’s never quite as good as yours, but I dare say we make a fine soup nowadays.”

“You do.” Snow White agrees. Twitchy tugs at her dress again, begging for more food, which Snow White seems happy to supply. “Even Twitchy agrees, doesn’t she? You’ve been taking good care of her?”

“Of course.” Grumpy nods seriously. “Wouldn’t do to let anything happen to her under our watch.”

“How did that happen anyway?” Elrena’s curiosity gets the better of her. Twitchy’s head turns as if to look at her, unnerving Elrena more. Snow White’s hand drifts down to pat the creatures head, distracting it. “It doesn’t look like any animal _I_ know.”

Certainly every world was different, but until now both of them had thought this world had only the standard array of wildlife. It was… odd.

“It’s not a very long story.” Snow White answers congenially. “There actually used to be a great many of them in the woods, but most of them disappeared some years back, and it was just her left. She was not very ah, shall we say _tame_ then, but she would hang around the cottage sometimes. She always seemed so hungry to me, so I took to feeding her and well, the rest is history.”

“You don’t live here anymore though, right?” Elrena raises an eyebrow. “So why didn’t it go with you?”

“I’m afraid being Queen does have some limitations, and the poor thing doesn’t like crowded places much, so she stays here where my dear friends can care for her in my stead.”

“She done missed you a lot, Snow.” Sleepy says. “I could tell, cause she always comes and naps with me when she does.”

“Not that it stops ‘er from causin a ruckus in the workshop.” Grumpy huffs, but there’s the hint of a fondness in his voice. “Completely ruined my new pickaxe last month.”

“Hid under the table for a week after that she did.” Happy adds, gesturing with his spoon. “I reckon it was an accident.”

As the dwarves start to argue and tell stories, Lauriam and Elrena watch Snow White, who seems to drink in the atmosphere of being around her friends with enthusiasm.

She notices them looking, and far from suspicious she only regards them curiously.

“Is something wrong?”

“You seem comfortable here is all.” Lauriam answers.

He had never had a large family, for as long as he could remember it had been just him and his sister, but something about it all rings familiar anyway.

There’s the flash of a memory, of large dinners with the other union leaders, of Ephemera and Skuld playfully arguing over some triviality as Brain eggs them on and Ven just laughs, happy to be included. The memory is fuzzy with age, and he doesn’t remember what they were arguing about, but it feels… like home.

Ah.

“Why did you leave anyway?” Elrena asks, sounding genuinely curious. “I’m guessing it has to do with the whole ‘Queen’ thing.”

“Yes.” She answers readily. “After my stepmother.. Well, it’s a bit of a story, but as next in line for the throne I had a duty I could not ignore.”

“Speakin’ of, that Prince been treating you all might- all right?”

“Oh yes he’s been lovely.”

Elrena leans back in her seat, instantly disinterested. Lauriam let’s himself chuckle under his breath at her, and she is utterly unsubtle as she elbows him in the ribs.

The meal winds down, and finally the bowls are put away to wash, and the dwarves are curious about the basket once more.

“C’mon Snow, tell us!”

“Yeah t-t-tell us!”

“Alright, alright.” She laughs. “I thought it might be a nice surprise..”

She removes the blanket covering the basket, revealing a number of pies stored carefully beneath. The dwarves all still as they peer into the basket, and then as one look up into Snow White’s smiling features.

“Pies?” Grumpy asks, voice unexpectedly soft. Snow White nods.

“Yes.”

Happy leans down to sniff one.

“Apple?”

“Indeed.”

“Gosh Snow.” Sleepy rubs at his eyes, but for once not out of tiredness. “You sure you were okay doin that?”

“Of course.” She leans down to give the little man a hug. “Maybe it was a little hard at first, but it would certainly be a shame to never make a pie again. It was worth it, and I thought I might share my little victory with you. Was that all right?”

“More than all right, Snow!” The dwarves rush to agree, and Dopey nods enthusiastically. She smiles widely, and her eyes shine wetly in the dim lantern light.

“I’m glad.”

The pies are indulged in despite already full bellies, and though it is hesitant at first it is clear the pies are delicious, and by the end are dug into with gusto. Some are even shared with Lauriam and Elrena, though Snow expresses regret that she had not expected additional company and hadn’t made extras.

They assure her it’s fine. After all, how could she have known?

“Any idea what’s going on?” Elrena whispers to Lauriam when it seems the rest are distracted. He shrugs, but Snow White is close enough she hears them anyway.

“I don’t mind talking about it. The short version is my Stepmother tried to poison me, but cast me into a magic sleep as cold as death, and she did it with an apple as I was making pies.”

Ah, Lauriam thinks. Certainly worth a trauma response. Her determination to recapture the activity was admirable.

And here too was the lead they were searching for, though it looks less by the second that it will be useful to them.

“How’d you come out of it?” Elrena asks anyway.

“Magic has loopholes.” Grumpy answers. “Always does. Unreliable like that.”

“Yes, well.” Snow White chuckles. “The spell was set to break if I received true love's kiss, and, well, he found me. We’ve been together ever since.”

Lauriam treads heavily on Elrena’s foot under the table to keep her from rolling her eyes too hard or making a sarcastic comment.

“A fascinating story.” Lauriam says instead. “Thank you for sharing it with us.”

He could cross this lead out as being definitively not useful anyway. At least the pie was good.

“And you?” Snow White asks. “What brings you out into these woods? There aren’t many who venture all the way out here.”

“I’ll say.” Grumpy says. “We used to be right suspicious of visitors there’d be so few of ‘em.”

“Thank goodness for Snow for teachin’ us better!” Bashful raises his glass, prompting the others to follow. Snow laughs gently, and then turns back towards Lauriam and Elrena, waiting for their answer.

“We were looking for something.” Lauriam answers vaguely.

“Did you find it?” Snow White asks with genuine curiosity.

“No.” He finds himself wanting to answer honestly. “Which is why I believe we will be on our way shortly.”

Twitchy leans around Snow White’s chair to peer at them. Elrena glares down at it, and both are ignored by Lauriam and Snow White.

“Could we help perhaps? My friends know a great deal about this forest and I’m sure I could help if it were outside it.”

“I’m afraid you have helped us as much as you are already able.” Lauriam responds as congenitally as he can, standing from his seat and giving her a shallow bow. “We are grateful for your hospitality.”

“My friends are more to thank than me.” Snow gestures to the gathered dwarves, who brush it off with varying levels of humility. “You’re on your way then?”

“I believe so. Thank you again.”

They make their farewells, much to Elrena’s impatience, and eventually manage to get out the door, walking into the darkness of the surrounding woods.

Lauriam sighs as he opens a portal, and Elrena groans.

“Friendly people. The worst.” She brushes a stray leaf from her sleeve. “At least in the Organization we knew everyone had an ulterior motive and half of them didn’t even bother with the pretenses.”

“It’s simple in it’s own way I suppose.” Lauriam shrugs. “Some people are just… nice.”

“Ugh.” Elrena makes a face. “Boring. What’s the point if you can’t be a little mean to each other sometimes?”

Lauriam chuckles and they both vanish through the portal.

Behind them, the bushes rustle, and a dark form scuttles out, staring up at the portal with glowing red eyes.

The moment hangs.

A second form steps next to it, and Snow’s yellow dress stops just shy of touching the little Unversed. It looks up at her, and then back at the portal.

“You want to go, don’t you?”

It says nothing, hunkering down on its haunches, still staring intently at the open portal.

Snow White kneels, resting a gentle hand on the creature's back. She smiles softly.

“It’s okay, I can tell the others. We’ll miss you.”

It looks up into her face, no features of its own to tell what it might be thinking, if anything at all. Snow reaches into a hidden pocket, pulling out an apple she must have been carrying as a snack.

“I know the dark won’t hurt you- yes I know what you are, I’m a Princess of Heart you know, I’ve seen a lot of things- but take a snack for the road, won’t you? I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

There’s a moment's pause, and then the Unversed takes the apple in its mouth. It scuttles towards the portal and vanishes into it without another backward look. The portal shrinks down into nothing, and then vanishes, leaving Snow White alone in the dark woods.

“Safe travels, little one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love twitchy very much. also i dont currently have any plans to introduce the Player Character in full partly because i dont really want to intrude on anyone elses PC and partly bc my own keykid is just so personal to me that i don't know if i'd want to put them out into a fic unless people reaaaaally wanted it. So as it is i'm just gonna say that the PC is there, they exist, and they're still running around in the book's simulation/alternate universe.


	5. Xion; Displacement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xion works on figuring out where they fit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL I DIDN'T MEAN TO HIT POST WHILE I WAS EDITTING BUT OH WELL I GUESS YOU GET THIS CHAPTER A BIT EARLY DAJHJHADS

Xion feels like the odd one out, sometimes.

It’s a silly problem to have it feels like, after the Organization and… Everything. So much has happened and Xion doesn’t even really know where to start with it all so instead they don’t, trying to throw themself into the banalities of everyday life and searching for Lea instead.

But it itches beneath their skin, especially late at night when the others are asleep (or so they assume) and the moon rises high in the sky. They remember things that aren’t theirs, they remember dying, they remember Roxas’ broken expression and being forgotten.

They remember being put together, piece by laborious piece in Sora’s heart, with Roxas and Ven and Vani around them. They remember the feel of a claymore in their tiny hands as Saïx tries not to show his surprise.

They remember the Graveyard, Sora’s miraculous journey to save them all from death, and then Sora breaking under it all in the end.

It's... hard, thinking about Sora, but they try. Every tentative connection to Sora might still prove useful, in some unexpected way maybe. Roxas tries too, it's one of the things they talk about, bouncing ideas back and forth when they go heartless hunting for Lea. It's the right thing to do, to bring Sora home again, but there are always nightmares after those days. Always.

But they aren’t the only one with nightmares. Despite sharing one of the large upstairs beds, Xion and Roxas rarely seem to be in it at the same time, driven away by restless helplessness or the recurring nightmares they both have. In those rare times when they wake together though, holding each other close as the other shakes and cries, it’s a relief and a comfort to have that small contact.

Kaze had recommended some breathing exercises, to help with the panic supposedly, and Lia had offered some tea to help with sleeping, but both had been left on a slip of paper on the side desk, largely untouched. They never seem to remember it when they need it most, and Xion finds themself embarrassed by that whenever they call Kaze and Lia and they ask if it’s helping.

They’ll try harder to remember next time, they think every time, and every time in the heat of the moment they forget.

Sometimes they talk, Xion and Roxas, in those late night events after one has woken the other with some nightmare or other, but more often they don’t, entirely too aware of what the other might have been dreaming of. They lay awake, curled into each other's embrace and listening to their hitched breaths as the moon circles gently above them unseen.

And then morning comes, and they crawl from bed with tired circles beneath their eyes, ready to tackle another day looking for Lea.

Isa accompanies them often, though sometimes he takes off on his own to search. Where he goes Xion doesn’t know, but they suppose it doesn’t really matter. He comes back in time to make them dinner and send them to bed, and the cycle begins again.

It’s a little weird, after the Organization where Saïx only ever doled out missions and never went on them himself, though Xion thinks it must be even more weird for Roxas, who doesn’t have those tangential memories of Saïx in the second Organization like Xion does.

It was a world of difference, that single fuzzy bit of time.

Sometimes things change though, where Isa would have to get supplies or food or have to do chores around the house and couldn’t go looking. Or sometimes Roxas would spend the day with Hayner, Pence, and Olette, playing and laughing for just a little while, and those are the times that Xion feels most out of place.

Xion has gone with him sometimes, and while the group always seems happy to have them, they don’t quite feel like they belong there the same way Roxas does. They’re very nice, those three, and they’re glad he’s happy, really, but it makes Xion feel just a touch lonely. This isn’t their group, it’s Roxas’, and it makes Xion feel like they’re intruding.

On those days, they often find themself hanging around Isa, helping him with whatever chores he needs done that day, or going off heartless hunting in hopes it might spur Lea’s return.

It’s quiet with Isa, neither of them prone to initiating conversation, but Xion finds they kind of like that about him. There’s no subtle push to fill the silence, no prying into things better left unsaid, just a quiet kind of companionship.

Not that they never talk, but.. It’s different, somehow. Comfortable. They know Roxas is puzzled by it, still a little standoffish with Isa himself, not hostile but not friendly either, but bridges aren’t built overnight and they’re all tense the longer Lea stays missing.

Still, they make it work. What else can they do? They could stay with Sora’s mom’s of course, but Xion finds themself unwilling to leave the mansion the longer they stay there. It’s _theirs_ now, all of theirs. Xion doesn’t want to give that up…. Even if the beach isn’t as close by.

Easier said than done though.

They wake up alone this morning, Roxas’ side of the bed long cold, meaning he’s probably been up for a while. They hadn’t heard him get up, so Xion must have slept like the dead this time. Xion pad’s from their half-refurbished bedroom, and barely has to look before they see Roxas at the end of the hall, staring at the closed library door.

Xion taps on the bannister as they approach, but Roxas doesn’t seem to notice until they’re almost next to him, startling with a quickly suppressed jerk as he returns from wherever his mind had taken him.

Xion… doesn’t really know what happened with the Data Twilight Town, other than that it happened. There never seemed to be a good time to ask, and Roxas always grew reclusive and thin whenever it came up that it made Xion apprehensive to try.

They can relate, after all. There were plenty of things Xion didn’t want to talk about either.

“My ghost was with me, in the Data World.” Roxas interrupts the silence, prompting Xion to tear their own gaze from the door to Roxas face. He doesn’t look at them. “No one acknowledged it, and neither did I. He was just there, trying to talk to us while we all ignored him. I wonder if he was scared.”

“Oh.” Xion didn’t know what to say to that. “Did he know what was happening?”

“I dunno. Maybe. Probably wouldn’t have listened anyway even if I could understand him.” Roxas heaves a sigh and then glances away sharply, fists clenching. Xion reaches out and takes his hand, and he relaxes slightly under their touch. They know more of Sora’s signs now, and looking back they can see some of the things that Roxas’ ghost had been trying to say. It’s almost more sad now that they understand.

“I know you miss him.” They say as Roxas’ eyes water. There’s a lot they haven’t talked about, but this much they know.

“Yeah.” Roxas murmurs. He hesitates, and then moves closer to put his head onto Xion’s shoulder. “I know he was just a fragment of Ven, and we can talk to Ven anytime now but…”

“It’s not quite the same.” Xion nods, understanding. They were grateful that the unstable piece had been able to reunite with Ven, but it still wasn’t the same and it was never going to be. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t make something new out of it. “Wanna call Ven and Vani later?”

Roxas takes a deep breath and then raises his head from their shoulder.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

“I just got up.” A restful sleep for once. “Have you eaten?”

Roxas shakes his head, and together they turn and head downstairs. Isa is already there, apparently taking stock and figuring out what they might need soon. He greets them with a simple nod and then returns to work. Roxas grabs a random cereal and Xion follows suit. They eat in silence.

There’s a little open booklet taped to the fridge that hadn’t been there last night, the name of the month written across the top, and a series of blank boxes below. A simple red line is crossed through the first line of boxes, and tiny written reminders run across the bottom of several of the little squares in blue pen.

Xion turns their gaze away. There’s something about it they don’t like.

“I checked the Garden and the Tower this morning already.” Isa says, seemingly out of nowhere. “I’ll be working around the mansion for the rest of the day.”

“Oh right.” Roxas murmurs. “It’s the day off.”

What a weird concept, having a day off every week, but Isa had insisted they take regular rest days for their own health… Though he never seemed to follow it himself. Something in Xion relaxes knowing the two most likely places have already been checked though, like it always does, and they suspect Isa knows that.

“Any plans?” Isa asks. Xion ponders the question, chewing slowly on their cereal.

“I dunno. Roxas?”

“Pence wanted to do a movie thing on our next day off. Something about a sleepover?” He says, and seems confused. Isa’s mouth ticks up in a smile, small though it is.

“They’re.. Enjoyable, with the right people.” Is all the man says. “I’ll not worry if you do not return tonight then.”

If anything Roxas seems even more confused, but doesn’t seem willing to ask him more. Isa recommends asking his friend if he should bring anything to their movie night, which Roxas decides sounds like a logical plan.

Isa lays down his board on the table, and Xion tilts their head curiously at the papers clipped to it. A list of groceries on a sticky note in the corner, a series of reminders for things Xion isn’t familiar with, and-

“Construction tools?” Xion asks. “What do you need those for?”

“Ah,” Isa blinks, seeming almost a little startled by the question. “There has been good progress made on this place, but there are parts I need something more.. Specialised to deal with. If we are to stay here, I feel it should be up to standard.”

“Do you even know anything about construction?” Roxas squints doubtfully. Isa doesn’t react.

“Do you?” Isa responds flatly, dodging the question.

“I’d like to.” Xion pipes up, latching on to the idea of doing something new. “We could learn together!”

“If you’d like.” Isa nods graciously.

And that’s that.

“You don’t want to come with for movie night? You were invited too.” Roxas asks, and Xion feels that heaviness in their chest again as they shake their head.

“Not tonight, you have fun.” They say, and Roxas tilts his head at them curiously, some gear turning in his brain, but before he can reach whatever conclusion he was heading for his phone buzzes with an incoming text.

It’s from Pence, answering Roxas’ earlier question about what he should bring. He tells Roxas to bring things like spare clothes and toiletries (something that initially makes both Roxas and Xion nervous, since they only had a couple spares each.

After some back and forth Pence comes to realise that doing a full change of clothing every day was something of a novel concept to them and assures them as long as Roxas is clean it’s fine, and after what seems like no time at all Roxas is off, spare socks and underthings in tow, leaving Xion and Isa to their new task.

They putter around for a bit, cleaning out still cluttered corners of debris that had been missed in the initial sweeps (Xion swears more appear every time they think they’ve gotten them all), collecting bits and bobs and generally assessing various parts of the house that still needed fixing.

An endless task it seems, but at least it keeps them busy.

And finally, Isa hesitates, and Xion tilts their head in confusion. They glance around him, and find the library door looking back.

“You don’t have to come.” He says. “I can do this part myself.”

“Why?” Xion asks, now even more confused.

“You have no aversion to the library or the lab beneath?” He glances down at them, and Xion shakes their head.

“No. I know Roxas doesn’t like it, but I barely saw it really, only when Sora came through it later.”

“Hm.” Isa makes a noise, and with that pushes open the library door.

The entrance to the lab is still open, a darkly gaping maw in stark contrast to the golden lit books above it. Isa takes a deep breath.

“First will be to dismantle the computers and systems below. I will start there. Could you find the mechanism to shut the entrance, perhaps see if there is a way to seal it?”

Not that any lock or seal could stop a determined keyblade wielder, but there was something to be said for out of sight, out of mind.

They separate to their tasks, and it takes longer than expected to figure out how the ‘secret’ entrance worked, at which point Xion has to go find Isa again.

He’s elbows deep in sparking wiring, which probably isn’t safe, but both of them are more sturdy than the average person so they just wait for him to notice them. His hair keeps falling into his eyes, and several times he blows it away with a touch of frustration, Something about it strikes Xion as just a little bit amusing, prompting them to giggle. Isa finally glances up at them with a rueful look, the closest they’ve ever seen him to pout… which of course just makes them giggle harder.

“If you are quite finished, have you figured out the door?” He asks, and Xion nods.

“I’m pretty sure it’s broken, or maybe jammed. I think it’s supposed to close automatically after being used, but well… it hasn’t. I tried to force it but it’s really stuck.

Isa huffs a breath that on anyone else Xion might have thought they were cursing. He rises from the mess of computer monitors and wires to follow Xion to the open entrance. They show him the mechanism and what they think are the jammed floorboards. He gives it a few exploratory tugs himself and then sighs, running a tense hand through his hair.

“I don’t think I can fix this.” He mutters, and then winces. Xion frowns.

“Really? But all those computers-”

“I am taking _apart_. It’s much different than putting together or fixing something.” He doesn’t mean to be so sharp but he does, and Xion flinches back.

Isa’s mouth snaps shut, and he takes a step away.

“Apologies.” He murmurs. “I should control myself better. You are not obligated to stay.”

Xion takes a deep breath. It was hardly the most anger anyone had ever directed at them- Larxene had hurled insults with regularity, but something about it coming from someone they were building a tentative companionship with felt quite raw.

They take a seat on the entrance steps and put their chin in their hands, contemplative.

“Did I do something wrong?” They ask, and Isa shakes his head.

“No, no. I’m merely frustrated. I wanted..” He trails off.

“Wanted what?”

“To help.” Isa looks away, his gaze back on the broken mechanism. “This place obviously causes Roxas a great deal of discomfort, so I wished to remove it.”

That’s… remarkably sweet, Xion thinks. Roxas hadn’t said anything, but clearly Isa had been paying attention over the last months. Where had this man been while they were in the Organization?

…. Broken mostly, they realise. Bittered by jealousy and held back only by the strained bonds of an old love. Saïx had been largely distant to them and Roxas, though they still remember his clear distaste from earlier days that had faded only slightly as his relationship with Axel had begun to mend. But that hadn’t meant that he had been kind. Not until after his sacrifice in the lanes between and the true Organization.

“Well, we still can, right? Could we just… board it up?” Xion doesn’t really know how construction works, but it can’t hurt to try. Probably.

“Temporarily.” Isa nods, and his face slips into deep thinking, one Xion recognises as his planning face. “If we can at least turn off most of the machinery today, tomorrow I can ask around town for, ah, tips on putting in a new floor.”

Xion can almost feel how much saying that pained him, but at least he’d said it. Both Isa and Saïx were painfully independent creatures it seems. Xion could relate to that, at least a little bit.

But they have something approximating a plan now, and with that they set to work.

-

Roxas stands before Pence’s door with a knot in his chest and his hands worrying the ties on his hand-me-down knapsack.

What even was a sleep-over anyway? What are the rules of engagement here? He can’t help but fret a little at finding so many more things he just doesn’t know.

Before he could descend into worry even more Pence appears at the upper story window and waves excitedly down to him.

“Roxas, you’re here! Just a minute I’ll come let you in!” And then he’s gone again, replaced quickly by Hayner and Olette, who both cheer just as happily on seeing him.

“Yo, Rox! You ready for an all-night monster movie marathon?” Hayner enthuses, while Olette rolls her eyes.

“Don’t worry it’s not all monster movies, we all got to pick a couple.” Olette says, and then the front door opens to reveal Pence.

“I didn’t get to pick one.” Roxas points out, not offended but curious as to why. Pence nods.

“We kinda figured you didn’t know many movies, that’s actually why we did it this way, so you could maybe get a feel for some of the different genres out there, find out what you might like.”

Roxas’ heart glows a little, that they would think of him and want to include him like that. Pence leads him to his room, where Hayner and Olette have relocated to the carpet, surrounded by a veritable pile of blankets, pillows, and assorted paraphernalia that Roxas assumes is part and parcel of a ‘movie night’.

“Is Xion not coming?” Olette asks, and Roxas shakes his head.

“No, I guess they wanted to help Isa out or something.” He shrugs. He’s starting to have suspicions about Xion’s recent avoidance, but he doesn’t really want to talk about it right now. He’d rather discuss it with Xion first.

“Oh.” Olette says, clearly disappointed before plastering a smile back on. “Well, that’s okay. Maybe next time.”

“Totally.” Hayner nods. “There’s always a space for them here too. But for now no more waiting! It’s time for all movies all night!”

“Then… When do we sleep? It’s called a sleepover right?” Roxas asks, confused. He pouts a little as the others giggle at him.

“Don’t worry we’re not laughing at you.” Pence reassures Roxas with a pat. “It’s just a little funny. It’s called a sleepover, but most sleepovers don’t actually involve a lot of sleeping, because you’re having too much fun hanging out.”

‘Yeah!” Olette nods. “We’ve got tons of movies planned, but if we get bored of that there’s also games, telling silly stories, or just plain old hanging out.”

“And no one to tell us to knock it off, because sleepovers are special.” Hayner nods seriously. Pence scoffs.

“To a point. We don’t want to wake up the whole block. Again.”

“Okay but was that or was that not one of our finest hours?” Hayner points at Pence with a mischievous grin. “We gotta tell Roxas that story later, it’s great.”

“First, movies!” Olette pulls up what looks like an armful of tapes. “You get to pick, Roxas.”

He looks over the array, each as foreign and unknown as the last, and picks one at random.

“Oooooh nice choice.” Olette coos as she pops it out of its case. “A sweet romance to start off the night.”

“Ugh really?” Hayner groans, draping an arm across the top of the bed behind him. Pence just laughs, leaning in to Roxas to stage whisper in his ear.

“Don’t let his moaning fool you, Hayner _loves_ romantic comedies.”

“I do not!”

“He totally does, he just doesn’t want anyone to know he’s a secret softy.” Olette joins in the teasing. Hayner responds by chucking a pillow at her.

This kickstarts an entire round of roughhousing, which Roxas later learns is called a pillow fight. The movie doesn’t start for another hour, but that’s okay. It’s Fun. This is fun.

It’s a little strange.

The movie is pretty sappy, but it still nets a few laughs and Roxas pretends not to notice when Hayner starts to sniffle at the ending. He’s not sure why Hayner is embarrassed about it, but he’s not sure how far he can push teasing yet, especially since he doesn’t entirely understand why someone would deny liking something like this. Maybe later.

Roxas decides he likes the movie.

They lose themselves in movie after movie, and after their brains hurt from too much tv and their mouths hurt from too much popcorn they switch to telling outrageous stories, and then they set up pillow forts, and then they tell ghost stories and then…

Eventually they realise Roxas’ stories were 100% real, and Roxas realises that theirs were not.

It’s still a good time. Even if the more regular teens are going to be avoiding certain tunnels for a while (and possibly forever).

And then…. And then they wind down, so late into the night that the early Twilight Town sunrise is draping the room in faded golds, and the ticking clock above Pence’s bed reads a steady 4 am. Olette and Pence are finally asleep, passed out after murmuring quiet late night musings at each other. Hayner doesn’t seem far behind, but Roxas has passed the stage of sleepiness and back into an uncomfortable sort of delirious wakefulness.

He’s not unaccustomed to this sort of sleeplessness, between the various incidents in the Organization and now many late nights plagued with nightmares, but somehow it’s different, lying awake not because of fear but because they’d chosen to, with the comfort of friends around him.

“Yo…” Hayner’s voice is muffled and his eyes half closed. Roxas turns his head only just slightly towards him to indicate he’s listening. “I know you been really worried about your missing friend, You know you can talk to us right? If you need?”

“Yeah.” Roxas murmurs back. Their immediate support means so much to him, though he knows they don’t actually know each other all that well yet. They’d only ever met Roxas as Sora’s silent floating companion, and the trio he’d known had never truly existed… and yet here they are, ready to stand with him through whatever they can. It’s enough to make his chest clench with emotion. “Yeah I do.”

“I hope you had fun tonight.” Hayner’s words start to slur as his eyes slip further closed. “Don’t gotta… pr’tend t’ be happy for us…. But we like sein’ it… You bein’ happy...”

Roxas’ eyes start to water, and he turns onto his side, facing Hayner. He can just see Olette curled next to Hayners hip and he can feel Pence’s feet threatening to tangle with his from where he’s otherwise completely hidden by piled blankets.

“I did have fun.” Roxas says with only a whisper, voice too choked to be any louder. He doesn’t know if Hayner could even hear him. “I’m so glad you all still wanted me.”

“If y’ ever want us to help look..” Hayner breathes, shifting sleepily and tipping his head forwards until he’s only inches from Roxas. “Jus’ say the word, okay?”

And then he’s out, softly snoring against Roxas’ collar. Roxas doesn’t know whether he wants to curl around the other or lean away and regain his space.

Eventually he tips his chin down just enough he can touch his forehead to Hayners, and takes a deep breath.

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the roxas section does break my one character-one chapter rule a bit but honestly it just didn't feel complete without it. also i needed to write some fluff what can i say


	6. Ven, Vanitas; Wandering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Return to Radiant Garden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the part where i realllllly wish i had done less skipping of the 'less interesting' stuff back in the day. bc logically speaking these groups would have to have interacted and known each other over the course of their adventures...... except i never once wrote that in this fic. in my defence i hadn't planned this far ahead at the time? ah well. maybe someday i'll go on a big edit/rewrite spree and add some scenes here and there to establish this better.
> 
> also note: im conveniently ignoring the fact that cloud/seph/tifa aren’t from radiant garden at all (and by that i mean i fuckn forgot and by the time i remembered my subplots were already in place so i said fuckit). Im nudging the canon slightly to the left. Im sure most people wouldnt have even noticed but i thought id mention it anyway lol

“Can we go to Radiant Garden first? I want to check up on the Restoration Committee.”

That had been Ventus’ request as they had embarked on their world-hopping road trip, and Vanitas had capitulated, more for lack of better reasons to go elsewhere than anything else. He didn’t have much attachment to the place really, Leon was all right by him but that was about it. Ven on the other hand liked and was liked by a great deal of the committee, so off to the Garden they went.

The restoration itself is going well, as they see when they land their vehicles. King Mickey had offered a ship for them to use, but their Keyblades and armour more than sufficed for travel through the lanes between. The hardest part was not getting separated by Ven getting constantly distracted by shiny things in the distance.

Or so Vanitas had discovered after the fourth time he had to physically drag Ven back on course.

Once they were on their road trip properly Vanitas had no problem with allowing Ven to choose wherever he pleases, but Ven had insisted on Radiant Garden, so that’s where they were going dammit.

It’s Aerith who sees them first, looking up from a harried looking moogle and spotting them as they round the corner to the market. She smiles brightly, waving them over.

“Ven!’ She says warmly. “Welcome back! Who’s this?” She turns her gaze to Vanitas, and both men have to take a moment to realise that Vanitas had vanished before anyone in the Garden had been able to see his new body.

“Vanitas.” He greets simply, hand signing his name as he does, and Aerith’s face lights up in recognition.

“Oh! It’s so nice to see you again. Have you seen the others yet?”

“Not yet, we just got here.” Ven shakes his head. “It’d be nice to say hi, you think?”

He looks over to Vanitas, who shrugs indifferently. He really doesn’t care, but Ven does and it’s just easier to let Ven have what he wants.

“I think Cloud and Leon are with Cid at Merlin’s still.” Aerith supplies. “I’m not sure where Yuffie’s got off to, but knowing her I’m sure she’ll turn up at some point.”

“That sounds like Yuffie.” Ven laughs. “Thanks Aerith. Need any help?”

He gestures to the several bags of accumulated goods at Aerith’s feet, but she shakes her head.

“I’m okay, and I’ve still got to haggle these Betwixt gems down to a reasonable price, and that will probably take a while. You guys go on ahead, I know Leon will be happy to see you.”

“Sure thing.” Ven says cheerily, and Aerith turns back towards the now grumpy looking moogle as Ven and Vanitas head towards Merlins. It’s a short walk, and with the reconstruction making fruitful strides of late there’s only the bare minimum of heartless to try and ambush them on their way. They’re dispatched easily, and Merlin’s door lies only just beyond, a welcome sight.

“Hellooooo!” Ven calls as he pokes his head in the door. Vanitas simply waves as he walks in, noting Leon and Cloud inside, alongside Tifa, but notably no Cid.

“Where’s Cid? And Merlin?”

Merlin himself was something of an afterthought, given that he was often only rarely in his own abode, but he figured he should ask anyway.

“Cid had to run some new data up to the castle.” Cloud says.

“And who knows with Merlin.” Leon snorts. “Who’s this?”

“Vanitas.” Vanitas introduces himself again, complete with hand sign, and everyone nods in recognition.

“Heard you’d gotten a body.” Leon nods approvingly. “Took you long enough to visit.”

“Had other stuff to take care of.” Vanitas shrugs. He doesn’t really want to get into it, and it’s obvious that no one wants to broach the topic of Sora. “We’re just here to check in.”

“We’re doing a world hopping road trip!” Ven adds with enthusiasm, making the resident Restoration members smile.

“Sounds like fun!” Tifa grins. “Do you know where you’re headed next, or is it a surprise?”

“It’s a surprise. Wherever the gummi ship takes us.” Ven says. Vanitas nods.

“Are you going to stay a while, or are you too excited to be off?”

“We can stick around for a bit if you need anything, but I know grumpy here wants to get going.” Ven jerks a thumb over to Vanitas, who scowls.

“It’s not like we have a goal or anything.” Vanitas grudgingly allows. “So it doesn’t really matter.”

“We’re pretty good right now, just shoring up some of the older buildings that aren’t decayed enough to need rebuilding from the ground up, nothing I think will interest a pair of wandering keybladers.” Tifa smiles despite her tease, and they know it’s in jest. “Oh, but that said- Leon?”

“There are some rarer materials you could save for us if you find any out there, you know, if you want to help but don’t want to do the boring bits.” Leon keeps his expression flat, only breaking the hint of a smile when Tifa puts her hands on her hips and glares at him. Cloud pretends not to laugh by coughing into his hand.

“ _Leon_.”

“Okay, okay. Here.” Leon reaches into his jacket and pulls out two cards, handing one each to Ven and Vanitas.

“Radiant Garden Restoration Committee Honorary Member.” Ven reads out, his grin widening with each word, and turns it over to see his name scrawled on the back. “Aw, thanks guys!”

“Thanks.” Vanitas isn’t as obvious as Ven is, but he’s still pleased to be included, pocketing the card where it’s sure not to get lost. In honesty he hadn’t expected to be so explicitly made part of the group, and he nods gratefully to Leon. The other man smiles, probably one of the most sincere that Vanitas has seen on him, and it makes something flip in his chest.

“You were there with Sora when he helped us, it only made sense.” Leon tries to downplay. “Besides, I wasn’t kidding about the materials thing.”

“So we’re free labour huh.” Vanitas snorts, but there’s no true offence in his tone. “Figures.”

“You don’t have to.” Tifa tries to allay. “It would just be a big help is all.”

“I didn’t say we wouldn’t.” Vanitas leans back against the doorway, and Ven shakes his head at him.

“We’ll see what we can find while we’re out there. Do you have a list?”

Tifa nods and pulls out a sheet to scribble an assortment of items onto, Ven leaning over her shoulder so he can be sure of what they might be looking for.

Cloud leans over to murmur something at Leon, and whatever it is makes the other man chuckle.

“You didn’t see them much did you?” Leon speaks just loud enough for Vanitas to catch. Cloud shrugs.

“Mostly just when there was fighting. Wasn’t really around for the quieter parts.”

Vanitas squints, but doesn’t call them out on their muttering. Tifa finishes up the list and hands it to Ven, who pockets it with a nod.

“We’ll keep an eye out. At least a couple of those things I know we can find.”

“It really will be a huge help.” Tifa seems relieved. “And let us know if you ever need anything too, okay? Even if it’s just a hot meal and a place to stay.”

“Will do, thanks Tifa.” Ven nods. Vanitas nods as well. She pumps one fist in the air.

“Great. And with that I gotta go, construction waits for no gal, and I promised Aerith I’d swing by the Rising Falls on my way to the irrigation channels.”

“Why the Risi- oof-” Leon grunts as Cloud elbows him sharply. Tifa pointedly takes no notice, and just nods as she heads towards the door.

“Stay safe.” He says quietly, and she winks at him.

“Always. And don’t be a stranger~” She hip checks him lightly as she walks past, clearly familiar enough with him to do so. She seems to have underestimated her own strength though, when Cloud is shoved just enough to push into Leon standing next to him.

Cloud pushes off Leon with an awkward cough, and Tifa walks out the door with a bright smile. Ven looks between them and the empty space where Tifa had been, clearly bewildered, but Leon steps forward before he can figure out what to say.

“Are you going to head up to the castle before you go?”

“Nah. We’re grateful to them, don't get me wrong, but we don’t really know the scientist gang, and unless they’ve found Lea there’s not much there for us.” Ven shrugs, and Leon tips his head in acceptance.

“So no plans where you’re headed next?” Cloud asks. “Just wherever the wind takes you? Sounds nice.”

He sounds a little wistful, and Ven wonders if that’s something he longs for too.

“No plans.” Vanitas confirms. “Just see where it goes.” And hope it takes their minds off everything else.

“I think I’d like to go to Olympus next.” Ven muses. “We’ve seen Hercules a bunch which was nice, but we never did see Zack anywhere.”

“The one that wanted to be a hero or something, right?” Vanitas asks. He had only ever been on Olympus with Sora, and thus had never met Zack, but Ven had told stories about him from when he’d been a kid running around the worlds chasing after his friends. Ven nods, oblivious to the way Cloud stiffens.

“Yeah! It’d be nice to find out where he went, since Herc had no idea what happened to him.”

“Zack..?” Cloud says, voice soft but full of emotion. “Zack Fair?”

“Uh,” Ven blinks, caught off guard. “I never caught his last name honestly. Black hair, likes squats, real sunny kinda guy?”

Cloud’s chin dips, and Vanitas can see all too well the deep pain he tries to hide.

“He’s dead.”

“What?” Ven is taken aback as he tries to process that. “Dead? How?”

Cloud grimaces, turns, and then leaves the little house entirely without another word. Leon sighs.

“What happened? I didn’t even know you guys knew him!” Ven protests the lack of answers, and Leon holds up a hand to stall him.

“Pretty sure I only ever met him once, and I wasn’t very old then. Wanted to make his name as a Hero and conned Scrooge into letting him world hop trying to get stronger. I think Cloud went looking for him after the Garden fell, and that’s all I know. He doesn’t like to talk about it.”

Ven huffs in frustration, glancing towards the door as if considering chasing after Cloud to demand more. Leon seems to catch that, and shakes his head.

“Don’t bother. If he doesn’t want to talk nothing can make him. Believe me.”

Vanitas raises one eyebrow at the implication. Leon wasn’t exactly the pushy sort when it came to talking, so he finds it doubtful that Leon had even tried. Leon just shrugs at the questioning look, and doesn’t elaborate.

“Maybe… Maybe we can figure it out. We definitely have to go back to Olympus now.” Ven looks Vanitas in the eyes, and Vanitas sighs. He’s got that big determined look on, which means he won’t be stopped now. Ugh.

“Fine, we’ll go to Olympus. I get to pick the next world though.”

“Deal.”

“Say hi to Yuffie before you leave. I think she’s in the Bailey.” Leon suggests. Vanitas grimaces and hopes they don’t actually have to, but then Leon gives him that knowing look that makes Vanitas grudgingly accept the possibility of a detour to see Yuffie.

It’s unfair, using those outrageously handsome features against him. He’ll get him back later. Somehow.

He wonders how Ven seems to be completely immune, but he seems completely wrapped up in this whole Zack thing, so that’s probably why. The idiot is so easily consumed by a single thing even still, you would think he had learned by now- it was what Vanitas had initially drawn him out of the castle with, planting a single thought in his head and letting it consume him. Vanitas liked to think he was a little more aware than that.

…. And okay, maybe he wasn’t going to voice that aloud, knowing it would only invite all the examples otherwise, but he can still let himself have that little victory in his head.

Ven tugs him out of Merlins, all single minded focus, and _Vanitas_ has to remind him to swing by the Bailey to see Yuffie (something he immediately regrets), and it’s not long at all before they’re underway once more, Olympus in their distant sights.

Vanitas wonders what exactly Ven is hoping to find besides proof that his friend is gone, but keeps his own counsel. It’s not like it matters to him after all, and that was the point of this road trip.. Or something.

They’re both making it up as they go. Hopefully that will be good enough this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> both ven and vanitas still have some underlying issues, though they've worked through the worst of it at this point. ... most of it anyway. we'll poke at it a little more as we go on.


End file.
